Let's Catch Up!

           Hey Everybody! I hope everyone is doing well. Our family keeps growing and shrinking and growing again. Most of you know that Jacob and Justice are now doing a trial home placement with their mother. This happened Thursday March 7th. I will explain a little of what I felt that day and the days leading up to it. I knew that this was probably going to be the time where it would happen; but I just hadn't convinced myself it was actually going to. They were at the point of weekend visits, which killed me, and I knew that it was only a matter of time. During those weekend visits I would find myself not really thinking about much except for what they were doing, were they o.k., etc. I would dread but be excited for Monday morning to come. I loved seeing them run into school saying, "mommy! mommy!" I would dread it because the rest of the day/week was very difficult for them; behaviorally, emotionally, and physically. They would have accidents making the transition and my heart would break for them seeing them adjust to living with us during the week and their mom on the weekends. It wasn't fair to them. In the meantime we got a baby that was 6 months old! Her name is Ronadda Jackson; but we call her RJ! The boys loved her!!! They were GREAT big brothers! So, the day had come to go to court. I was so nervous. I hadn't seen their mom since the last court hearing and I knew that today would probably be the day we said, "goodbye!" We walked in and I just felt at peace with everything. I kept telling myself, "be strong for her", be strong for my boys","It's ok to let them go." So there we are sitting in the courtroom hearing the dreaded words, "We will try to home placement." My heart sank! Ryan began to cry and I just whispered to him, "Ryan be strong." He began to grab my knee trying to hold back the tears. We left the court room and I literally felt a spirit come over me walking out the door. We stopped, their mom and I looked at each other and just embraced and were weeping together! I can't describe how I felt. There wasn't anybody else in the room but her and I. God had us wrapped up into his arms. Two moms coming together happy and sad for one another. I knew after that hug that everything was going to be fine. I had made peace with the idea that the boys would only be with us for one more night. Friday came, and the boys were picked up and I never cried another tear since that Thursday in the courthouse. On a side note, not two hours later we got a call asking for us to take in a 2 month old baby girl, Makayleigh! She only stay with us a week; but it was like God knew to give us a distraction to not be thinking about the boys leaving. Back to RJ, I am SOOOOOOOOOO in LOVE with this little girl. I can't even describe it! She is my everything. We don't know a whole lot about her and her situation. Right now, we are loving on her as hard as we can until we have to let her go! Thank you guys for always reading and so sorry it's been so long since I've posted! I love everyone and thank you so much for your prayers! They are felt often! Here is a picture of "My boys!"