Yeah....it's been a while...

       First off, I want to say sorry. I know that it has been a while since I have written a blog. That brings me to my next order of business...there will probably be a two or three parts to this blog to get everyone caught up. So, consider this part one...


        The last time I wrote you guys Tristen was leaving us. About two weeks after Tristen left, we received a call about a little boy names Terran. Terran was 3 years old and so stinkin' cute! :) When Terran walked in with his case worker he said he needed to go to the bathroom; so of course we showed him where the bathroom was and all of a sudden we heard throwing up and pooping everywhere in our bathroom! Oh, my word I knew from that point he was going to have a hard time adjusting to living here. That night we found out Ryan's grandpa had past away in New Jersey and we had to pack up the car and head north...with three kids under 3! That was a Friday and we decided to leave on Sunday morning after Ryan got off work. Off we were to New Jersey! The kids were doing great on the trip, watching a movie and singing songs; it was kinda fun until Justice decides he needs to throw up! Here we go again with the throw up! We finally made it to a hotel (once we discovered ours was closed due to power loss). Oh, did I mention that we had plenty of money in our account but couldn't have access to it...oh yeah, that was fun too....NOT! Anyways, back to the story.... On Monday we decided to just take the boys to the mall for a bit and hang out around the town before the viewing that evening. Once we got our naps and showers done we were off to the viewing. After that we went to Denny's to get something to eat after the viewing (about 8 o'clock mind you) and I am just not feeling very well. Very feverish and just blah :( I decided to take the twins back with me in the car and Ryan was going to walk back with Terran (3 days into his transition) after they were done. I gave the boys a bath and put them down and I started throwing up!!!!! O my word, did I ever throw up! It was horrible. The next morning I called my MIL and I just told her I wasn't going to be able to go to the funeral and that I was really sorry. About 10 minutes later I hear a knock on the door, it was her and Geoffrey coming to help with the boys and to take them and she said she had got a sitter to be there with them during the funeral so I could rest! THANK YOU DESI! I slept and threw up and slept and threw up...it was horrible. So, now it's Tuesday afternoon and I am feeling better so me and Ryan decided to drive to Hoboken for some Carlo's Bakery and then head to NYC on the subway! I had been to NYC before and I knew that it stunk didn't really notice it until I was so sick! :( We had a "decent" time I was just ready to get back and we decided to just leave when we got back to East Brunswick so the boys would just sleep the whole way home. I took a sleeping pill so I could sleep without getting sick. Well, about an hour into our trip home Jacob starts throwing up! It had made it's rounds! Finally we were back in Wrightsboro, home sweet home, and the Ryan starts throwing up! I had had enough of the puking! :) and then we got word on Friday that my dad was throwing up! Oh dear! So, back to Terran. Very sweet boy, but really needed to be in a home where he could get all the attention. We had a great time with Terran and we got to take him on a trip to VA just me, Ryan, and Courtney and we had a BLAST! After about a month and a half Terran went to live with a family friend... so that would have brought us to end of August/First of September....keep a look out for part 2

Sorry It's Been So Long...Here We Go Again

So, just to catch some people up on what our house looks like from the outside... CHAOS! :) We now have Tristen (5yrs. old) and Twin (2yrs old) boys named Justice and Jacob. One week after giving Christiana back to her family I received a text from our social worker asking if we would want to take in these twin boys. Of course, I was weary at first because TWINS WHAT? BOYS WHAT? 2 YEAR OLDS WHAT???? :) anyways, after talking with Ryan and my parents and me thinking that maybe if we didn't take these boys in then who knows when our next chance to have children will be; so we picked them up at 6pm and came home and played! :) All they could say when they came into our home was "Hey!" and "Bye!" After getting used to them and the boys getting used to being around us I decided to teach them sign language and see if I could get them to start talking more. Justice picked it up so well that we made a video for my mom that day that all I had to do was say the word and he would sign! I taught him 7 words in one night and he had already memorized them. Now, their speech is coming along GREAT and the sign language has progressed and Jacob has caught on! First task, COMPLETE. Next task, POTTY TRAINING~!! Most of you know that I HATE diapers...with a passion! I bought this really cool Cars Potty that revs when you "flush" it! They fell in love with it and used it that night! I was SOOO excited! Second Task, In progress! :) Onto to an update on Tristen. We have had Tristen for 4 months. Due to some safety issues we had to place Tristen in a different foster home today. I found out at 2pm and they came and got him at 4pm! I was devastated to say the least. That was my son for 4 months. I taught him so many things and was able to provide a stable home for him. When he left I went into my room and cried literally like a baby. Ryan came in and of course comforted me and said something that made me get up and go! He said, "Holly, you have 2 boys out there who need you to be there for them!" I have this loss in my heart and throbbing head ache from crying I get up and start hugging on my boys. There have been many things that have come up over the past few weeks that made me realize why I am doing this. If it wasn't for me and Ryan and the rest of my family and friends; Tristen, Christiana, and the Twins would may have never experienced and two parent home, a Christian home, and a love that goes beyond words. I have gotten a little crafty this summer and I came across a quote that I actually put up in my living room. "Family is more than blood." I truly believe this, God has sent us these beautiful children to keep safe and love on. They will forever be our FAMILY! We love you T!

Yeah...this is TOTALLY how I feel! :)

There Always has to be a First

Our first goodbye. Yesterday evening (Friday) I got a call while on the way to a Building 429 concert saying that all the paperwork and home study was approved and that Christiana would be moving to her aunt on Monday April 23. I thought to myself, "wow, this is it." I immediately got off the phone went to my dad and started crying. Trying to help me calm down was Debbie and some people on the van. All of a sudden I felt God come over me and just hold me and made me feel peace about this. So, I wiped away my tears and was trying to be strong for the youth that were on the trip and made myself think that this trip was for them and I have to show maturity and strength. Throughout the night I had a horrible headache. The basketball game was pretty much miserable and I seriously thought my head was going to explode! Then it was time for the concert and I remember saying, "God this time right here is for You and You alone." During that one hour God took over my headache and put me into a state of worship I haven't been in in a while. On the trip back my headache came back. :) God is so funny. I had to make myself go to sleep so I wouldn't just sit there and cry. Today I have held her and cried, looked at her and cried, and look at her and Ryan and cried. I know that God has a plan for Christiana and our family. My first prayer is for Christiana. That she will grow to know the Lord and know that she will always have a place in my heart. My second prayer is for my brother,Mom, and Dad. They have been a HUGE help during this month and they are taking things pretty hard. My third prayer is for Tristian. He has had a blast being a big brother. I pray that he understands that she has to leave but he doesn't. I pray that Monday goes smoothly for him and our family. My last prayer is for Ryan and Myself. Pray that God gives us strength to cope with the loss. Pray that we will be strong for everyone around us, especially T. God is good and I know He does have GREAT plans for us. Doesn't make this any easier for anybody. Thank you all for reading and prayer for us. I know I can always count on my friends for prayer and guidance. This is a poem I found that pretty much sums up how I feel as a Foster Mother.










FOREVER IN MY HEART 

Although I'm not their mother
I care for them each day,
I cuddle, sing and read to them
And watch them as they play.


I see each new accomplishment,
I help them grow and learn.
I understand their language,
I listen with concern.


They come to me for comfort,
And I kiss away their tears.
They proudly show their work to me,
I give the loudest cheers!


No, I 'm not their mother,
But my role is just as strong.
I nurture them and keep them safe,
Though maybe not for long.


I know someday the time will come,
When we will have to part.
But I know each child I cared for,
Is forever in my heart!


~~~ Author Unknown~~~

2 weeks with a 5 year old son!

              It's been 2 weeks since Tristen has became a part of our family. It has been one the hardest most exciting thing that has ever happened in my life. I love this little boy with every fiber in my body. Everyday poses new challenges of being parents to a 5 year old; but at the end of the day I am just glad we all made it that day alive! A little update on Tristen: He sees his mom once a week, Skype with his dad once a week, and has counseling once a week.  This little boy is on emotional over load! Saying that, him visiting his mom is the hardest thing for him and me! We also just found out he has to have a phone conversation with his mom every Thursday night before he sees her on Fridays. I understand the she wants him back and things but he can't handle all the emotional days/nights. I told Tristen this last night, I said, "Tristen, you are the bravest person I know, you are so courageous!" He just looked at me like I had 5 eye balls. lol He now goes to our preschool and loves it! He is learning so fast and seems to be interested in learning. Please keep Tristen in your prayers! Now, onto me and Ryan: I spend most of my days doing dishes, laundry, or playing! I wouldn't trade it for the world! Ryan is having a blast having a boy in the house! I am also an emotional wreck. I can't seem to grasp the fact that a mother and a son have to have a once a week relationship. Tristen isn't even my flesh and blood and I couldn't imagine not seeing him everyday! We pray for his mom daily, we pray that she gets the help she needs, and can gain custody of Tristen again! I didn't think that I would feel like I wanted the kids to go back to the neglect, but when Tristen screams and cries for his mom, all I want to do is take him to her! This poor little boy worries too much about his mom and about whether or not he will be going back to her. That isn't something a boy his age she even be thinking about. He sees his mom on Fridays and I can't help but be sad. I am heartbroken for two reasons: 1. I want him to not hurt anymore! 2. He basically wants nothing to do with me when he comes back. I know that I am not his mom; but I give my time, money, and energy taking care of him and all she has to do is meet at DSS with toys. That is my biggest struggle right now. Please pray for me and my emotions and that I will keep them in check when Tristen is around. Tristen loves church and loves Covenant Church family! We thank you for welcoming him into our home and our church! 




These are flowers Ryan and Tristen picked out for me this week! 

And so it begins...

     So, today February 23rd I received a call about a little boy who is 5 years old. His name is Tristan and he is our first foster child. Tristan is being removed from a foster home because those foster parents no longer want to be licensed. Tristan will come to our house tonight around 5:30 straight from daycare not knowing that he is being switched from foster homes. Also, Ryan is out of town. :) Please pray for Tristan and his transition. Pray that God will come into his life and give him a peace that will make him calm and know that things will be ok. Please pray for me, that God will give me peace and will make me calm and know that things will be ok. We will have Tristan for at least a month or so. All covenant people, please make him feel welcome on Sunday, as I know you will! So, I think this picture represents how my emotions are right now! lol :) 

8 weeks and 3 days

       That is the exact time it took to be LICENSED!!!!!!! That's right people....WE ARE READY TO GO! We got an email today at 9:04 am saying that we were finally licensed and that we would get a call as soon as a placement arises (probably sometime within the next week)! We went from beyond frustrated to beyond excited. I was shaking and crying when I read the email! A HUGE thank you to Donna Westmoreland for watching my kids so I could celebrate with my parents during preschool! During our church service yesterday James spoke about doing God's work and serving God. I just felt the Lord leading me to pray at the alter and my heart was heavy because I just felt like I need to pray that this licensing would get done. Doris and Katie prayed with me and I knew God would work. The past few days we have also been faced with another difficult situation that God was testing us with, and teaching us that He was in control! I did want to answer a question that some people have been asking me. "Are you gonna be ok when you have to give these kids back?" The answer: Probably not...lol But God is my Rock! I rest in knowing that there are other children that are going to be coming into my home and into our life. I know that my husband and my family will be there anytime of the day or night to talk and hug me!  I know God is good and He will bring you through all the hard stuff and the easy stuff! 


This is a picture of me and Ryan at my Cousin Ashley's wedding Rehearsal Dinner! :) 

8 week mark...ugh

      It is so hard to write this update knowing that is has officially been 8 weeks today and not have a child in our custody. But God is good and All-Knowing! I trust that He has a great plan for our family, yet it is still difficult to have certain expectations and they not be met. Just to bring everyone up to speed, I sent our social worker an email last Wednesday, February 8 and did not get a response back and Ryan called her on last Friday and left a message and didn't get a response. I was beyond upset and had a TOTAL meltdown! Finally on Monday of this week she emailed me saying that Thursday (today) February 16th would mark 8 weeks to the day that our social worker mailed our paperwork off. If we hadn't heard anything by the end of the week then her supervisor would call the state next week to see what the hold up is. They are not allowed to call the state until 8 weeks has past! UGH! FRUSTRATING! I know everyone's response to this post will be, God is good Holly, He has great plans, It's coming, Just be patient! I know these things and I keep telling myself these things; but NO words can describe how ready I am to start this part of my life! I am so confident that God has called myself and Ryan to do this work and I am just so ready to put forth my calling! I know God is in control and everything WILL happen according to HIS time; but I can't help to be excited and ready to go! :) So, my prayer after this post, is to just be with me and Ryan as we wait. Help us to draw closer to the Lord in this time of waiting, help us to draw closer to each other and our family. Thank you guys for reading our posts! Hopefully next time I write a post there will be a child involved! :) This is a picture of me and my very best friend of almost 23 years! I don't know where I would be without her! LOVE YOU CHRISTA 

The 7 Week Mark

So, we are at the 7 week mark (from when our social worker sent our paper work into the state) which means we are looking at this week or next!!!! We are beyond excited! I actually had a breakdown in the car on my way home from a 31 party today! I just really want it to happen. FAST! lol :) I know God has a PERFECT plan for us...but sometimes it's hard to wait! When I got home from the party, I checked the mail as normal and found that my cousin Sarah Foster sent us a $25.00 gift card to Target! So, I cried some more! :) THANK YOU AGAIN SARAH! We went to Target this evening and was able to get bottles and a couple passies! We came home and I finished up the room. It is now READY to go! We are so ready to see where God takes our family. Kinda cool to not know what's gonna come next! Here are a few pictures of the room we have set up for the kids! 

Weird Feelings...I guess...

     So, we are at the point where we are so excited we can't even stand it. :) We are getting so close we can taste it. I am actually getting the room finalized right now and took a break to write this because I just wanted to get my feelings out there. I was going through the clothes, diapers, and things that we have been given and I am just so thankful for all of it,and everyone that has donated things for our ministry. As I look to our future as a family I wonder what God will have in store for us...just fostering, adoption? I don't know. But I do know that God is going to use us to minister to children who are in need. There has been a debate about having a shower or a "gathering" to kind of welcome our ministry and celebrate our family because this may be our family for a while. I am torn with the whole "baby shower" idea. On one hand I get it, we are not having a baby or adopting a baby so why would we have a shower when having a shower means having a baby...whatever. The other side of me, the emotional side, says, "It could be a while before we adopt." "We aren't having children biologically right now." "We are still needing things just as any other parents would need things." I know many people will say, "well, you are getting paid by the state to take care of these kids." Well, I am here to tell those people that the money isn't very much, basic needs are pretty much covered. I am not writing this to ask people to buy us things or give us things because many people have already done a lot for us. Mom and Dad gave us a crib, someone is donating bunk beds, a changing table has been given, diapers, and clothes have also been given and I am soooo grateful for all of those things. Say we have 10 kids this year, and we go buy the things we need progressively, by the time it comes for us to adopt a child we will have already got the things we need. I understand both points, because when it does come time for us to adopt, I want it to be really special and we plan on celebrating BIG time! But only God knows when that time is right. I guess the female, emotional part of me is afraid that I will never have a shower or a party to celebrate Ryan and I becoming parents. I know it's just a party and that it may be a very selfish thing but I am being honest about how I feel. I so appreciate everything that EVERYONE has done for us. We feel the prayers everyday. And looking beyond the clothes, diapers, toys,etc. the prayers are the most important for us. So, I leave this blog with one request, o.k. maybe two :) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE continue to pray for the O'Neills, pray that God will be in my heart and take away the selfish desires that are in my heart and to look at the needs of the children and to make sure those are being met. And #2. If you have any used baby or kid items that you would like to donate (again, don't feel like you have to because I know God will provide!) just let us know how we can pick it up for you! I want to thank you all for reading our blog. It has been very helpful for me and kind of let my heart just speak freely without feeling like I am going to be judged. I feel good things coming and I know God is good ALL the time! 




Picture is of the BEST parents in the world! You guys are the greatest! 

New Social Worker

       We knew at the end of December that our social worker would be retiring and we were very happy for her but kinda bummed out that we would have to get to know another person and go through more hoops. We got an email from our social worker on Dec. 22 saying she sent our paperwork out to the state to be processed and that it would be about a month from then that we would be getting children and could be before then. So a few weeks passed and I just started getting worried and our new social worker hadn't made contact with us yet. I was worried that our names were going to get lost in the shuffle of the transition between social workers. I finally got in contact with her and she told us that we were being processed by the state and that it can take 6-8 weeks! (definitely not what we were told or expected) but it's all in God's timing. So we are looking at the end of the month or beginning of February. We are preparing ourselves emotionally and physically. We are getting our house ready with beds and things. We are so looking forward to what God has in store for us! 

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Getting Things Started

    So, we started taking the foster care classes in April of  2011. They are 10 weeks worth of classes every Tuesday. We were very excited to get started with process and hope that it wouldn't be much longer than 10 weeks until we could fulfill our dream of having a family. My parents starting taking the classes with us for emotional support and because we were under the impression they had would have to be licensed to watch them alone. During those 10 weeks we were able to really learn how the foster care system works. You just assume that a child is being mistreated and that parent shouldn't be a parent because they don't want to take care of their children. Well, we learned that the parents were getting help and trying to do the right thing. The main goal is to reunite the child with their birth parents. After the classes were done we decided to look at moving and looking to sale our house. We really felt like God wanted us to stay in Pender County and we asked how many foster parents there were in P.C. and they responded with what I thought was a joke, "7"! I couldn't believe it. I said, "Ok God, there is our sign. We are staying in P.C." From then on, we started looking at houses in the Hamptead area. In July we had our First Aide CPR class for preschool and I knew our instructor had adopted through foster care so I was really excited to talk with him. He explained to me that there were more infants and adoptions that occur in New Hanover County than P C and that P C uses NHC for foster homes. So, we knew we wanted to help infants and we knew we wanted a better chance of adoption   through foster care. We started looking at homes in NHC and it was slim pickens! :) But thanks so a great friend, Gennie Markins, and her working at Ace Hardware we were able to come into contact with our current landlord, who is a great Christian man and loves that we doing foster care. (God thing? I think so!) We were able to get into contact with NHC DSS and transfer things and NOT have to take the class over! Paperwork, fingerprints,background checks, life stories, etc; have all been turned in! We have been licensed for 4 kids at one time. ( I was talked into that one :) ) and we asked that they not be over the age of 5 unless they were apart of a sibling group. We are ready and could get a call any day with a child. All I can say is through this whole process God has shown Himself present in every decision that has been made and I know He will be there in future decisions as well! Picture below is of Me, Ryan, Mom and Dad. They have been there for us through everything and it has effected them as well! We love  you guys so much! Thanks for always being there!



 

Starting A Family

After a year and a half into our marriage we wanted to start growing our family. So we prayed and talked and felt that we should go ahead and start trying. After about a year of trying we began to get worried. We decided to talk to a doctor, and just make sure everything was as it should, and what we should do. So Holly’s Doctor ordered some tests, and we waited. A few weeks later, January 17,2011 to be exact, we received a phone call from my doctor telling us that Ryan’s test came back with no sperm. I was is shock. Of course I immediately started crying and was upset. My doctor told me not to give up just yet, that she wanted to do some more test and send him to a specialist in Raleigh. Over the next few months of traveling back and forth from Raleigh,thanks to Cerisa for letting me miss so much work, after a biopsy of hopes to retrieve sperm because all hormone checks came back normal, the final word was Ryan was born sterile. At that moment I can’t explain the peace that came over my body. I knew at that instant that God had bigger things for us. We had talked about the different options of becoming parents and knew that if God did not have it for us to have children naturally then He wanted us to do foster care. So, after our final doctors appointment we got in the car and Ryan called Pender County DSS and put us on the list to start taking the classes. I hope ya’ll enjoy reading our blog and please continue to pray for us...next blog will be about starting the foster care process! I thought this picture was funny! ENJOY! p.s. look at Ryan's face :)

How we met

Ryan and I first met in the 10th grade at New Hanover High School. We were in the same Bible class with Justin Cooper was teaching. He was the Youth Pastor at the time at our church and I invited Ryan to come along and then we started dating from there. When then started dating off and on for the next couple years. Our senior year,2007, we started dating and became pretty serious. We were both accepted to Campbell University and decided we would both attend there in the Fall. After a semester of bad roommates, bad religion classes, and being bored out of our minds; we decided to move back home and get married! On November 17,2007 Ryan proposed to me at Fort Fisher on the rocks with the ocean in the background, and of course I said, YES! About a year later, on September 13, 2008 we got married and bought a house and we ready to start our lives together! We were surrounded by people who loved us and supported us and we knew we did what God wanted us do!