Weird Feelings...I guess...

     So, we are at the point where we are so excited we can't even stand it. :) We are getting so close we can taste it. I am actually getting the room finalized right now and took a break to write this because I just wanted to get my feelings out there. I was going through the clothes, diapers, and things that we have been given and I am just so thankful for all of it,and everyone that has donated things for our ministry. As I look to our future as a family I wonder what God will have in store for us...just fostering, adoption? I don't know. But I do know that God is going to use us to minister to children who are in need. There has been a debate about having a shower or a "gathering" to kind of welcome our ministry and celebrate our family because this may be our family for a while. I am torn with the whole "baby shower" idea. On one hand I get it, we are not having a baby or adopting a baby so why would we have a shower when having a shower means having a baby...whatever. The other side of me, the emotional side, says, "It could be a while before we adopt." "We aren't having children biologically right now." "We are still needing things just as any other parents would need things." I know many people will say, "well, you are getting paid by the state to take care of these kids." Well, I am here to tell those people that the money isn't very much, basic needs are pretty much covered. I am not writing this to ask people to buy us things or give us things because many people have already done a lot for us. Mom and Dad gave us a crib, someone is donating bunk beds, a changing table has been given, diapers, and clothes have also been given and I am soooo grateful for all of those things. Say we have 10 kids this year, and we go buy the things we need progressively, by the time it comes for us to adopt a child we will have already got the things we need. I understand both points, because when it does come time for us to adopt, I want it to be really special and we plan on celebrating BIG time! But only God knows when that time is right. I guess the female, emotional part of me is afraid that I will never have a shower or a party to celebrate Ryan and I becoming parents. I know it's just a party and that it may be a very selfish thing but I am being honest about how I feel. I so appreciate everything that EVERYONE has done for us. We feel the prayers everyday. And looking beyond the clothes, diapers, toys,etc. the prayers are the most important for us. So, I leave this blog with one request, o.k. maybe two :) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE continue to pray for the O'Neills, pray that God will be in my heart and take away the selfish desires that are in my heart and to look at the needs of the children and to make sure those are being met. And #2. If you have any used baby or kid items that you would like to donate (again, don't feel like you have to because I know God will provide!) just let us know how we can pick it up for you! I want to thank you all for reading our blog. It has been very helpful for me and kind of let my heart just speak freely without feeling like I am going to be judged. I feel good things coming and I know God is good ALL the time! 




Picture is of the BEST parents in the world! You guys are the greatest!