Weird Feelings...I guess...

     So, we are at the point where we are so excited we can't even stand it. :) We are getting so close we can taste it. I am actually getting the room finalized right now and took a break to write this because I just wanted to get my feelings out there. I was going through the clothes, diapers, and things that we have been given and I am just so thankful for all of it,and everyone that has donated things for our ministry. As I look to our future as a family I wonder what God will have in store for us...just fostering, adoption? I don't know. But I do know that God is going to use us to minister to children who are in need. There has been a debate about having a shower or a "gathering" to kind of welcome our ministry and celebrate our family because this may be our family for a while. I am torn with the whole "baby shower" idea. On one hand I get it, we are not having a baby or adopting a baby so why would we have a shower when having a shower means having a baby...whatever. The other side of me, the emotional side, says, "It could be a while before we adopt." "We aren't having children biologically right now." "We are still needing things just as any other parents would need things." I know many people will say, "well, you are getting paid by the state to take care of these kids." Well, I am here to tell those people that the money isn't very much, basic needs are pretty much covered. I am not writing this to ask people to buy us things or give us things because many people have already done a lot for us. Mom and Dad gave us a crib, someone is donating bunk beds, a changing table has been given, diapers, and clothes have also been given and I am soooo grateful for all of those things. Say we have 10 kids this year, and we go buy the things we need progressively, by the time it comes for us to adopt a child we will have already got the things we need. I understand both points, because when it does come time for us to adopt, I want it to be really special and we plan on celebrating BIG time! But only God knows when that time is right. I guess the female, emotional part of me is afraid that I will never have a shower or a party to celebrate Ryan and I becoming parents. I know it's just a party and that it may be a very selfish thing but I am being honest about how I feel. I so appreciate everything that EVERYONE has done for us. We feel the prayers everyday. And looking beyond the clothes, diapers, toys,etc. the prayers are the most important for us. So, I leave this blog with one request, o.k. maybe two :) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE continue to pray for the O'Neills, pray that God will be in my heart and take away the selfish desires that are in my heart and to look at the needs of the children and to make sure those are being met. And #2. If you have any used baby or kid items that you would like to donate (again, don't feel like you have to because I know God will provide!) just let us know how we can pick it up for you! I want to thank you all for reading our blog. It has been very helpful for me and kind of let my heart just speak freely without feeling like I am going to be judged. I feel good things coming and I know God is good ALL the time! 




Picture is of the BEST parents in the world! You guys are the greatest! 

New Social Worker

       We knew at the end of December that our social worker would be retiring and we were very happy for her but kinda bummed out that we would have to get to know another person and go through more hoops. We got an email from our social worker on Dec. 22 saying she sent our paperwork out to the state to be processed and that it would be about a month from then that we would be getting children and could be before then. So a few weeks passed and I just started getting worried and our new social worker hadn't made contact with us yet. I was worried that our names were going to get lost in the shuffle of the transition between social workers. I finally got in contact with her and she told us that we were being processed by the state and that it can take 6-8 weeks! (definitely not what we were told or expected) but it's all in God's timing. So we are looking at the end of the month or beginning of February. We are preparing ourselves emotionally and physically. We are getting our house ready with beds and things. We are so looking forward to what God has in store for us! 

---

Getting Things Started

    So, we started taking the foster care classes in April of  2011. They are 10 weeks worth of classes every Tuesday. We were very excited to get started with process and hope that it wouldn't be much longer than 10 weeks until we could fulfill our dream of having a family. My parents starting taking the classes with us for emotional support and because we were under the impression they had would have to be licensed to watch them alone. During those 10 weeks we were able to really learn how the foster care system works. You just assume that a child is being mistreated and that parent shouldn't be a parent because they don't want to take care of their children. Well, we learned that the parents were getting help and trying to do the right thing. The main goal is to reunite the child with their birth parents. After the classes were done we decided to look at moving and looking to sale our house. We really felt like God wanted us to stay in Pender County and we asked how many foster parents there were in P.C. and they responded with what I thought was a joke, "7"! I couldn't believe it. I said, "Ok God, there is our sign. We are staying in P.C." From then on, we started looking at houses in the Hamptead area. In July we had our First Aide CPR class for preschool and I knew our instructor had adopted through foster care so I was really excited to talk with him. He explained to me that there were more infants and adoptions that occur in New Hanover County than P C and that P C uses NHC for foster homes. So, we knew we wanted to help infants and we knew we wanted a better chance of adoption   through foster care. We started looking at homes in NHC and it was slim pickens! :) But thanks so a great friend, Gennie Markins, and her working at Ace Hardware we were able to come into contact with our current landlord, who is a great Christian man and loves that we doing foster care. (God thing? I think so!) We were able to get into contact with NHC DSS and transfer things and NOT have to take the class over! Paperwork, fingerprints,background checks, life stories, etc; have all been turned in! We have been licensed for 4 kids at one time. ( I was talked into that one :) ) and we asked that they not be over the age of 5 unless they were apart of a sibling group. We are ready and could get a call any day with a child. All I can say is through this whole process God has shown Himself present in every decision that has been made and I know He will be there in future decisions as well! Picture below is of Me, Ryan, Mom and Dad. They have been there for us through everything and it has effected them as well! We love  you guys so much! Thanks for always being there!



 

Starting A Family

After a year and a half into our marriage we wanted to start growing our family. So we prayed and talked and felt that we should go ahead and start trying. After about a year of trying we began to get worried. We decided to talk to a doctor, and just make sure everything was as it should, and what we should do. So Holly’s Doctor ordered some tests, and we waited. A few weeks later, January 17,2011 to be exact, we received a phone call from my doctor telling us that Ryan’s test came back with no sperm. I was is shock. Of course I immediately started crying and was upset. My doctor told me not to give up just yet, that she wanted to do some more test and send him to a specialist in Raleigh. Over the next few months of traveling back and forth from Raleigh,thanks to Cerisa for letting me miss so much work, after a biopsy of hopes to retrieve sperm because all hormone checks came back normal, the final word was Ryan was born sterile. At that moment I can’t explain the peace that came over my body. I knew at that instant that God had bigger things for us. We had talked about the different options of becoming parents and knew that if God did not have it for us to have children naturally then He wanted us to do foster care. So, after our final doctors appointment we got in the car and Ryan called Pender County DSS and put us on the list to start taking the classes. I hope ya’ll enjoy reading our blog and please continue to pray for us...next blog will be about starting the foster care process! I thought this picture was funny! ENJOY! p.s. look at Ryan's face :)

How we met

Ryan and I first met in the 10th grade at New Hanover High School. We were in the same Bible class with Justin Cooper was teaching. He was the Youth Pastor at the time at our church and I invited Ryan to come along and then we started dating from there. When then started dating off and on for the next couple years. Our senior year,2007, we started dating and became pretty serious. We were both accepted to Campbell University and decided we would both attend there in the Fall. After a semester of bad roommates, bad religion classes, and being bored out of our minds; we decided to move back home and get married! On November 17,2007 Ryan proposed to me at Fort Fisher on the rocks with the ocean in the background, and of course I said, YES! About a year later, on September 13, 2008 we got married and bought a house and we ready to start our lives together! We were surrounded by people who loved us and supported us and we knew we did what God wanted us do!