There Always has to be a First

Our first goodbye. Yesterday evening (Friday) I got a call while on the way to a Building 429 concert saying that all the paperwork and home study was approved and that Christiana would be moving to her aunt on Monday April 23. I thought to myself, "wow, this is it." I immediately got off the phone went to my dad and started crying. Trying to help me calm down was Debbie and some people on the van. All of a sudden I felt God come over me and just hold me and made me feel peace about this. So, I wiped away my tears and was trying to be strong for the youth that were on the trip and made myself think that this trip was for them and I have to show maturity and strength. Throughout the night I had a horrible headache. The basketball game was pretty much miserable and I seriously thought my head was going to explode! Then it was time for the concert and I remember saying, "God this time right here is for You and You alone." During that one hour God took over my headache and put me into a state of worship I haven't been in in a while. On the trip back my headache came back. :) God is so funny. I had to make myself go to sleep so I wouldn't just sit there and cry. Today I have held her and cried, looked at her and cried, and look at her and Ryan and cried. I know that God has a plan for Christiana and our family. My first prayer is for Christiana. That she will grow to know the Lord and know that she will always have a place in my heart. My second prayer is for my brother,Mom, and Dad. They have been a HUGE help during this month and they are taking things pretty hard. My third prayer is for Tristian. He has had a blast being a big brother. I pray that he understands that she has to leave but he doesn't. I pray that Monday goes smoothly for him and our family. My last prayer is for Ryan and Myself. Pray that God gives us strength to cope with the loss. Pray that we will be strong for everyone around us, especially T. God is good and I know He does have GREAT plans for us. Doesn't make this any easier for anybody. Thank you all for reading and prayer for us. I know I can always count on my friends for prayer and guidance. This is a poem I found that pretty much sums up how I feel as a Foster Mother.










FOREVER IN MY HEART 

Although I'm not their mother
I care for them each day,
I cuddle, sing and read to them
And watch them as they play.


I see each new accomplishment,
I help them grow and learn.
I understand their language,
I listen with concern.


They come to me for comfort,
And I kiss away their tears.
They proudly show their work to me,
I give the loudest cheers!


No, I 'm not their mother,
But my role is just as strong.
I nurture them and keep them safe,
Though maybe not for long.


I know someday the time will come,
When we will have to part.
But I know each child I cared for,
Is forever in my heart!


~~~ Author Unknown~~~