Update....and a little venting...if that's ok

First, I would like to apologize for not writing much for a while. If you don't know we have 3 kids under 2 1/2. We got the two girls December 17, 2013. Our adoption should be completely done by October/November!! We couldn't be more excited. The girls are half-sisters. H is 2 1/2 and K is only 19 days older than D so 16 months! Life is REALLY pretty crazy with 3 toddlers. They are doing so well though. They are developing wonderfully and are doing great social and physically. Ok, so that's the update; on to the venting. First, I want to say I do NOT want pity. I want listening ears...lol I am really struggling with the fact that we aren't able to have biological children. I know, we have 3 kids right now; I just can't seem to "get over it." Many people around me are pregnant or just had babies and I just can't get the thought that it will never happen to me. I trust God with everything in me! I get that he has different plans; but that doesn't always take away the pain. I feel lonely, unworthy, and sad most days. Typically, it comes off as anger or aggravation; but mostly I'm just sad. Hurting at the fact I will never feel a baby from the inside, I will never feel the pain of labor/delivery, or being able to nurse a baby. I am so thankful for my 3 little blessings and I am SO thrilled about having the opportunity to be able to adopt D and we have prayed for him and God has given him to us. It's just not the same. I know what some of you are saying, "Holly, don't give up!" "God can make this happen." I know he can! That doesn't change the fact that it is something that I long for. I do know that God has great plans for our family! We are in the process of renting to own our house, selling our car/buying a new one. Ryan has a great new job! God really is good and faithful. If I could just ask for one thing: Please just pray for me. Pray for the adoption to go through smoothly. Pray for Ryan as he starts his new job. Pray for the girls and the things they are going through. Pray for our entire family! Thank you so much for listening and being an ear for me! Thanks for reading!!!! :) p.s. please no pity! :)